cornchips are no place for a mighty warrior.

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 15:44:21 GMT

i'm happy with my life, my boy, my place. i just miss my friends.

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 18:54:37 GMT

I miss getting butterflies and being excited about something. I think that might be what im missing in my life being that i dont have a best friend anymore

Sat, 11 Oct 2008 20:12:35 GMT

i think i realized why all my relationships suckass and fail miserably.
now i just need to be a relationship to really see if it's me fucking up and not guys. i mean, it really does make logical sense.

&&if i'm right then sorry i suck, to everyone i've dated, haha.

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 20:26:22 GMT

yea so i didn't get to take my drug test on last tuesday because i found out that i would have failed times infinity even though i really didn't smoke for a week. but anyway i decided that since i live in greensboro now i didn't want to go to the winston tasc program so i called and transfered and yesterday before i went up there i drank a good 15 bottles of water and drank this nasty ass drink and after sitting at the greensboro tasc forever having to pee so bad i went up and asked the lady if i was even going to pee today because i really had to go and she told me i wasn't even going to pee today. i was pissed because i spent 30 dollars on that drink for nothing. but i went upstairs to talk to some lady she just told me not to worry about it because my case isn't in guilford county so she just wrote me a note telling them i was good.

that's the most exciting story in the world. i thought my birthday was going to suck because of it but now it's going to rule.

Sun, 21 Sep 2008 21:10:47 GMT

yay i did it! i'm taking my drug test on tuesday. i can't believe i've not smoked weed for a fucking week!

i'm going to get so high on tuesday haaaaaaaaaaaaa

Sun, 14 Sep 2008 00:13:11 GMT

i still haven't quit smoking.
i have to have all my shit done by the 25th of this month, but today i found out that kali has to quit smoking this week too, so this should make it easier. i think?

anyway i live in greensboro now. it's sassy, kinda weird, but i like it. i like my condo a lot it's also sassy.

i'm going to go hit this homemade bowl and i can't find a lighter so i'm going to use kitchen matches. this should be interesting.

i kinda miss when i hung out with people. i can't wait until i don't haave to worry about not smoking and not be so broke.

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 02:41:33 GMT

i feel like i've been a hermit lately.
i guess part of that has to do with my phone not working, which it should be tomorrow.
it's probably a good thing i have been one, i've been able to save money so i can pay off my lawyers and all that bologna.
i still haven't quit smoking.
tomorrow i'm going to get some niacin and drink a lot of water.
i'm not going to be done with tasc by sept. 25th.
i need to go out and meet new people and do new things.

life is going by way too fast. this shit is crazy.

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 17:25:14 GMT

i think i might be fucking up a whole lot.
i still have yet to quit smoking, even for just a fucking week to go take this damn test.
i can't do it. except i really think i'm going to quit today and either get some detox pills or something and go ahead and take my first test.
also i haven't been to community service in a long ass time because it bores me to death so hopefully i'm not kicked out of that.

I SUCK.
it's awesome.
not really.
someone straighten me out.

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 20:46:11 GMT

yea so i really have no one anymore.

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 17:20:01 GMT

wow i got the scariest question asked to me last night and i really didn't know how to handle it.
i lied of course, and now i'm sketched the fuck out it's going to turn around and bite me in the ass like it always does.
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.

i'm just scared in general right now.
about like everything.
money, boys, my health, friendships falling apart, just everything.

i really really want to move away, but i really really need to quit just running away when shit gets unstable. it's not like i could leave anyway, i have to stay in nc until november 25th, especially close to tasc and the court house and all that damn bullshit.

god.damn.it.

i just want to go back to bonnaroo and not have to deal with the real world ever. i could most certainly live in a tent with a bunch of hipies for the rest of my life doing nothing but listening to some bangin' ass music taking some bangin' ass drugs. yessir. this is what i want my life to become. fuck having big cars, houses, and money

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 17:49:05 GMT

goddamn, why do i have so much anger in me?
i'm pissed off at like everyone in the world for no damn reason.
i really hope i don't snap.

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 18:51:01 GMT

today is SERIOUSLY my first day not smoking, i know i've said this now for like 2 months but real talk today is the day. and that sucks ass but i need to get my shit together and get it over with and get my community service over with and then not have to worry about drug tests or any of this bullshit anymore.

all i know is i'm already sweating like crazy and it's just going to get worse, i'm actually in a really good mood for some reason so that's a plus.

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 15:51:38 GMT

actually, i take back what i said, if i was to ever do that, my life would be a living hell for the rest of forever and i'm really not trying to deal with that.
so i aint.

bonnaroo was the shit. it's was the most amazing time in the world. i wish i had pictures right now, but i don't. just know kanye west sucks, and lupe fiasco was one of the greatest shows i saw all weekend.

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 18:47:27 GMT

woo! bonnaroo!
i'm really going to quit smoking and shit for a week when i come back, damnit.

as much as i hate to admit it, me and stupidshit are going to end up getting married one day, and i really hate saying that. it's like we're completely meant to but not meant to be together.
i feel like we're an oxymoron.

YAY MY BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF JAIL.
hearing his voice and seeing him and being able to get drunk and high with him again is the best thing in the world.

i think my life is going to turn around and become a whole lot better. i mean shit, it's summer, it has to.

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 17:03:26 GMT

i've gotten myself into a little incident and i feel like i'm way too smart, strong everything to this be happening to me.
no one is going to know what i'm talking about i just need to not make sense to everyone but make perfect sense to me.

but whaat the fuck, i'm now scared of being here. my phone rings constantly. 3 days off something shouldn't ever fucking happen. i'm just now starting to be normal once again, not so much but some, a lot more than the previous.

i need to get the fuck out of here for real.

june 12-15 hurry up please.

Sat, 24 May 2008 18:18:29 GMT

not smoking weed is the hardest thing i've ever had to do ~~i think~~, nah i know.
especially since it's not because i want to, because the government is telling me i can't.
if someone tells me not to do something, that just gives me every more reason to do it. i don't know why i'm like that but right now i wish i wasn't.
i've quit smoking every day for the past like 3 or 4 days and every day i give in.
i'm seriously depressed as shit and i really don't know why, well i mean i guess it makes sense, but sierrabowyer doesn't get depressed.

i just want to leave.

Thu, 22 May 2008 17:54:47 GMT

real talk.
what the fuck is wrong with me?

Mon, 19 May 2008 16:52:32 GMT

okay maybe that was a little too mean.
but it'll still never happen again.

but anyway i'm so tired of being down and sad and shit when i write in here because i'm really not as sad and pissed off like it sounds i am.
i'm starting to get sick though and that kinda sucks, especially since i never get sick.
i'm in some sort of situation right now that could possibly suck real bad but i'm really hoping we can get out of it or at least of out it enough.

me and brandi are going to be getting a house really soon, i'm kinda thinking the blues creek area.

Fri, 16 May 2008 21:17:08 GMT

i'm such a fucking idiot, i knew it then, i knew it the second time, i knew it the third time and i definitely know it now.
fucking assholes.

i can't blame anyone but myself since i did let this shit happen 3 times. i usually never give people second chances, never third.

so i got a phone call from Jeremie today, the one that has fucked me over three times now, because he decided to quit talking to me one day. he said he was kinda sick and it wasn't a good idea for me to come over, which really meant hey my ex-girlfriend is going to come over and we're going to fuck so don't come back over, (reason 1&3 for fucking me over). the 2nd time was for one of my old best friends, which is equally, if not more embarrassing and hurtful. so ANYWAYYYY, he calls and i'm trying to have a conversation with him because i haven't talked to him in a few days and for some reason i was a dumb ass and still cared about him, until i got off the phone anyway. but the only reason he called me was looking for weed, and he hung up on me after rudely asking and me telling him i'd look.
i really can not stand inconsiderate assholes, seriously he's made me feel like shit, like horrible, it's really hard to make me feel the way he has made me feel. i've done so much for that boy and for him to treat me like that FUCK YOU. seriously. i hope they fucking take off your other foot too. asshole.

and this is exactly why i said i was going to ride the whole being single thing out

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 02:13:40 GMT

i can't believe how true it is when i say every guy i've ever been with has fucked another girl or left me to fuck another girl.
they all say I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO YOU.
but then they do.
every single one.
minus one person.
how much more ridiculous can this get? and how much more embarrassing can the girls get?

haha goddamn i really just want to laugh in his face and tell her how much shit he talked about her when he was with me the week, no, the day before.

it's making me think that all guys are just jokes.

i mean this happened like a week ago but i just found out what happened in the 18 hours i was out of town.
i'm over it, i was over it right when i knew but it just makes me wonder,
WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WRONG?

and this is exactly why i said i was going to ride the whole being single thing out.
fuck it playyerrr.

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 03:11:48 GMT

i'm pretty sure i'm just going to ride this whole being single thing out for a minute.

now that i'm starting to remember what to do it's kinda fun.

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 16:43:31 GMT

god, not again.
i always go through random ass periods when i feel like shit about everything.
and this is one of those times.

where i just walk around like a zombie, feeling like i don't belong anywhere i'm at. it sucks, i don't want to feel like that. i don't know what it is or really how to stop from feeling like that, but i do.

i just want to get out. i feel like i've been fucked over enough here. i just feel like i can't hang out with anyone anymore because i really don't know who is being true and who isn't. i'm so tired of being hurt, not just in relationships, friendships also. my self esteem is like a -582790346298. it sucks. i just want to feel better about myself.

last night i hung out at sonic with brandi. like is that seriously what my life is becoming? a saturday night, chillin at sonic.
at least i know she's my fucking best friend and won't anything ever damn change that.

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 18:35:26 GMT

so no screweds.
just happiness.
it's awesome.
my step mom told me i think the first time in my life she's proud of me.
no one has any idea how much that means to me.
i'm just ready to get my debt out of the way and then go chill with all of my friends that i haven't been able to see/talk to.
i'm sure no one reads this shitsucks anymore.
but i just want to say sorry i suck at being a friend right now to everyone but i gotta do it to keep myself from getting into more finical trouble.
but i love you all.
just know that.

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 04:02:03 GMT

i will be so so so many screweds if what i think is going on is going on.

Sat, 01 Mar 2008 18:24:22 GMT

i really think i don't even really exist anymore to that. it sucks. i get good for a little bit and then something just hits me again and it all just starts over. fuck. i just want a time machine, even if its just for one second. just one last one. damnit boy.